Nadir?

Is it possible that in less than a week I have experienced what I might called the two extremes or opposites? The "zenith" was my recent experience with the L.A.M.C. at their concert "Soar" that I described in the previous blog. It caused extreme and heightened "joy". Today, I thought I might've experienced the "nadir" in a number of ways.

Nadir \NAY-dir; nay-DIR\, noun
1. [Astronomy]. The point of the celestial sphere directly opposite the zenith and directly below the observer.
2. The lowest point; the time of greatest depression or adversity.
Nadir is derived from Arabic nazir, "opposite."

First thing in the A.M., after breakfast and the 3 newspapers I get, is to check my email. This morning I had a very "official" looking email from payments-messages@amazon.com The subject line was "Amazon Payments Billing Issue - and my email address. It didn't call me by name but used my email address and said, "Greetings from Amazon Payments" (I should've suspected something right there) It proceeded with, "Your bank has contacted us regarding some attempts of (sic) charges from your credit card via the Amazon system." It goes on to ask me to click on a link that looks like a "very official" page to "verify" and "confirm" my identity with "Amazon". It then asks me to type in my credit card #, my password and my pin number. Hold it, right there! No one has ever asked for my "pin number" on my debit card or any card. I emailed my son and he got on the phone and walked me through what to do P.D.Q.!
I replied to the source of the email, thinking it was Amazon and got a very mechanical, automatic computer response. I told them I would be cancelling my acct. immediately. I did just that. I went in and changed my password, my email and deleted all their records of my credit card #'s. I will keep my old email address just for "spam" and junk mail at my son's suggestion. Then I went to the bank and they took a copy of the email letter for their "fraud" department. I had them check my account for any recent payments or withdrawals. None were found...but then I got to thinking that the credit card #'s and accts. were on other accounts and not with this bank. Panic! A really great depression took hold of me the rest of the day. It tainted my attitude at work and, although I was "civil" and handled my responsibilities, I was feeling like a "great weight" was hanging over my head. I was actually thinking of the "R" word...(retirement). It is scary to even imagine that an "identity theft" might be in process and you might be the victim. I'm already "paranoid" as it is. I hope it can all be resolved in my favor and there is no "intrusion".

"Don't Get Too Comfortable" is a current bestseller by David Rakoff. I have been listening to the "audio book" as I drive. He has very unique observations mainly about his New York City life etc. His last section is on "Alcor" the "Cryogenics" Foundation. He took a tour and it was fascinating. I'm not going to describe all the technical details he did. (read the book) What was "depressing" and "lowest" to me; another "nadir" for the day, was the concept of "freezing" ones body or just the head for some possible future "scientific breakthrough". It is "nano" pseudo-science at this point because there are so many impossible obstacles to overcome. Even if it ever was possible, as Ted Williams has bet with just his head(brain) being frozen, whose body would you use? A clone of your previous one? Who would you know? What would be the point? Part of the joy of living and the benefits of age is "wisdom" and experiences and memories. This, for me, would be the absolute "nadir" of life and its purpose. When I've lived and loved and laughed, I will know when it is over and I will be content to move on to whatever is next or to nothing or dust. It would be worse than death for me to try to "reanimate" and try to relate to a "brave new world" or probably a "less than brave, rerun world". Enough is enough! I'm not too keen on "reincarnation" either. It would probably be better than "reanimation" though.

There was a "favorite" TV special of mine on one of those "science fiction" shows, maybe "Twilight Zone" where the hero was a man who just hadn't died. It shows him as a civil war soldier/officer and how he didn't die with his buddies and then generation after generation and new wife after new set of friends tried to "go on" and muddle through. At the end of the show, he was trying to die, commit suicide because he was just morbidly bored with his "eternal life". Then, of course, there is my favorite Bill Murray movie, "Ground Hog Day". He had to keep "waking up and living the same day" over and over until he "got it right". I'm leaning more toward this approach and life philosophy. I'm still here to learn. bob!